This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: September 17, 2020
September 11
I need everyone to understand that millennials don't have printers at home. Please. I'm so tired of driving to print and scan documents.
โ Annalisa Heppner (@Northernsirena) September 11, 2020
there's no way my cat knows his actual name. i've given him like 10 new nicknames today alone. i just called him my sweet bowl of cheese and he was like ya i am
โ james (@videojames_) September 12, 2020
September 12
My brain has developed a permanent region specifically to store the memory of watching this for the first time pic.twitter.com/hl1FI4kUFx
โ Paddington๐ป๐ (@MopeyGay) September 13, 2020
Wherever she is, I hope this lady had a good day today pic.twitter.com/hO4LKM2HK7
โ Sara from Michigan (@SarafromMI) September 12, 2020
ain't no way perseus snuck up on medusa with them thangs clapping pic.twitter.com/lih7IaPLFR
โ William Vercetti (@williamvercetti) September 12, 2020
Classics department at a small liberal arts college https://t.co/mLPEIRV4Du
โ Chance Bonar (@ChanceBonar) September 12, 2020
my dream job is being the friend tagged in a celebrity's instagram post who has 300 followers and is on private
โ anne (@neoguristirfry) September 12, 2020
Bruh ๐๐ญ๐ญ pic.twitter.com/6EHW8pdEEX
โ Theo Shantonas (@TheoShantonas) September 12, 2020
September 13
Sometimes I'm kept awake thinking about how Americans call the liquid they put into their cars gas
โ steeve again (@steeve_again) September 13, 2020
iphone users: good morniโ
โ eli ??? (@jazz_inmypants) September 13, 2020
Apple: hey fuckface wanna know how much your ugly ass was staring at the screen last week?
iphone users: no thank you
Apple: 17 hours a day. and that's 30% less than last week. piece of shit.
Western part of the US right now: pic.twitter.com/0H675VSjkG
โ Thicc Candy Shell of Bekka's Former Self (@valhallabckgirl) September 13, 2020
On the importance of good typesetting and layout. pic.twitter.com/AtPBVLjH6M
โ Nicholas A. Christakis (@NAChristakis) September 13, 2020
'Keep politics out of sports!' I scream as I rise for the national anthem in a stadium built with $300 million in public funds.
โ qualified immunity disliker (@IssueFortyFive) September 14, 2020
We had a computer that ran MS-DOS when I was a kid, but I didn't realize that MS stood for "Microsoft," I thought it meant "Ms." and that the computer was a woman
โ Mara "Get Rid of the Nazis" Wilson (@MaraWilson) September 13, 2020
โ ryan gosling official (@avantgodjazz) September 13, 2020
the way he used his tail as a propeller https://t.co/zT8Rp0e1uS
โ ROB! (@rbrtormrz) September 13, 2020
realizing my parents look like the sopranos pic.twitter.com/0ijKRSOKBO
โ einstรผrzende neubรถltลn๐ฎ๐น๐ (@AmbJohnBoIton) September 13, 2020
Neil Young should do a sequel to Let's Roll called Let's Roll Moon.
โ Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) September 13, 2020
September 14
me: [knows LMK = let me know]
โ slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) September 14, 2020
also me: lartin muther king
Y'all ever think about how indigenous people successfully lived in the Americas for 15,000 years then Europeans came here and 500 years later the whole nation is experiencing apocalyptic climate disaster.
โ Not Brian (@LfeofCnsequence) September 15, 2020
Let the Hot Ones guy moderate the debate while Trump and Biden eat spicy wings
โ Donnie Sengstack (@donsengstack) September 14, 2020
I laughed until I had hiccups pic.twitter.com/LNoKzxqhRD
โ Hitsugi Hime: Officially Certified! (@HitsugiChan) September 15, 2020
Wait for it pic.twitter.com/HgVPE4PP7E
โ Nick Lutsko (@NickLutsko) September 15, 2020
you can say "ok john mayer" to any white dude playing guitar and it drives them nuts it's the greatest thing ever go try it
โ human aaron (@humanaaron) September 15, 2020
Why what happened https://t.co/onc7cGUHZQ
โ Marisa Ingemi (@Marisa_Ingemi) September 14, 2020
September 15
dad? did you have a podcast? pic.twitter.com/TDuaqRgL4h
โ kevin ๐ (@kevinsorboalt) September 15, 2020
y'all ever re-read something you wrote and think holy shit, did I used to know that?
โ Rochelle D. (@rochellehd) September 15, 2020
In ocean's eleven one guy's job was to give a suitcase to somebody and he got the same amount of money as the guy who had to do acrobatics inside a vault
โ Ron Iver (@ronnui_) September 15, 2020
been thinking about this for a month now pic.twitter.com/zZ82RoZptY
โ caro๐ค (@cooldetat) September 15, 2020
you are significantly closer to being a climate refugee than a billionaire
โ get your flu shot (@zoenone0none) September 15, 2020
Look good to me https://t.co/nw3YU9TKFl
โ Damian Lillard (@Dame_Lillard) September 16, 2020
September 16
Pop culture is just expired Black culture
โ Teklai (@Teklai_) September 16, 2020
just got a real bargain on literally the sum of all human knowledge at Waterstones pic.twitter.com/nKk7cFZN3s
โ dan hett (@danhett) September 16, 2020
This group's centuries-old commitment to spreading disease is fascinating. https://t.co/Dvp0LdxRo3
โ Melanie Dione (@themelaniedione) September 16, 2020
Firefighters: literally fight fire
โ Cres (@cres_guez) September 16, 2020
Also firefighters: fighting conspiracy theories on TikTok pic.twitter.com/Mf97S0tNrS
girls be like "happy birthday to the craziest person i know" and it's just sarah
โ Rachel (@femaleredhead) September 16, 2020
how does everyone know when fruits are in season.. when did u learn that. did i miss fruit season day in algebra. did u swallow a farmers almanac. why are peaches only in season for 8 hours a year
โ thomas ๐ (@perfectsweeties) September 16, 2020
September 17
Should we tell them? I wanna tell them.. pic.twitter.com/VuuebmwViR
โ Adrienne Adele Cox (@AdrienneACox) September 17, 2020
Trump, reading from a teleprompter here in Wisconsin, is criticizing Biden for using teleprompters
โ Josh Lederman (@JoshNBCNews) September 18, 2020
CUT THE PUBE pic.twitter.com/uYkvX1i5DP
โ Solemad O'nlien (@evren__7) September 17, 2020
When you've had it up to here with 2020. pic.twitter.com/F2qu6FvPsZ
โ Lynda Carter (@RealLyndaCarter) September 17, 2020